|extremely old fragment that ill put up anyway
||[Sep. 27th, 2012|06:30 am]
to nail me into a comfortable barrel with thick oak construction and strong staves. a barrel that will not reverberate to the tune of Chrissie Hynde whining about christmas time and through the walls of which will never be heard jingle bell cock or somebody got reindeered. |
the 'reliable' part comes when the contractor in question lets me out of said barrel, the air a little stale therein, say around Epiphany.
The barrel should have a hole big enough to pee out of, etc.furnishings can be negotiated later or subcontracted out. interested parties please contact me at this address.
it's not exactly that I hate christmas exactly; I kinda like spending a whole day doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, but I dislike The Holidays, the bending over backwards, the hurt feelings and histrionics, the wildly undulating price of gasoline, the magazines one is invited to purchasse which will tell us how to be Non-Commercial at >erk< Holiday, uh, time.
The hideous smells people feel it necessary to inflict on anyone who goes out for a gallon of milk and a pint of bourbon- you would not believe because your brain has undoubtedly blocked out your memory of LAST years' holiday stench'ed candles and poo pourri, along with the DINGY_DINGY_DINGY_DINGY_DINGY, as a survival mechanism.Three cheers for the human mind! The pumpkin game is sorta fun, Pumpkin cheesecake. Pumpkin waffles. Pumpkin mousse with rouleau of elk, paired with a jejune '09 Chardolot. Pumpkin green tea diet soda. Think I'm kidding? It's The Holidays,
The Holidays interfere with the proper pursuit of humanity, which is enjoying winter, or surviving winter, depending on where you live and what there is to eat. I love winter myself. It's so delightfully Not Hot. In summer people are always chirping at me about what a lovely day it is, their complete failure or lack of attempt to notice that I am visibly ill with all this horrible sunniness making me need to hit them in the face. I am strong in my age and do not do this, it really would not be fair.
The Holidays mean that They are all out driving badly buying stinky things to help them be non-commercial and hurrying to cook something, probably a pumpkin. In winter I have the world much more to myself. I get very wet and muddy and lots of practice which I desperately need, having patience with the aren't your feet cold crew.
No. If my feet were cold, Id'a put on some socks and shoes.
Actually I think it's a beautiful day. I sure do love being a grownup so I don't have to eat pumpkin anything, don't have to wear anything itchy and red that doesn't fit, don't have to lie to any children about Santa Claus, and don't have to give anybody a goddamned dollar except the guy on the corner with the cardboard sign. The one who is not going DINGY_DINGY_DINGY_DINGY_DINGY.